Kotegaeshi and Conflict Resolution

   Aikido is conflict resolution and no other technique demonstrates this principle better than Kotegaeshi. Uke attacks straight and Nage enters in (irimi) and pivots around (tenkan)to stand shoulder to shoulder mirroring Uke. Finally Nage redirects the energy of Uke around and down controlling the situation. This technique also works in verbal attacks outside the dojo. And thus illustrates how Aikido principles can be used in everyday life.

   Imagine you are at work and a coworker comes up to you and accuses you of scratching their car out in the employee parking lot. Their tone is not civil. As a matter of fact it enters your mind that this could wind up in a fist fight if you don’t diffuse the situation quickly. Using the blending principles of Kotegaeshi you enter in and blend to mirror him and tell him that you understand why he is angry. Furthermore you tell him this exact thing has happened to you and when it did you wanted to kill somebody.

   Do you see what you just did? You blended, shoulder to shoulder, to see it from his perspective. The essence of harmonizing with an attack. In other words, the “ai” in Aikido is “seeing from the attacker’s viewpoint.” Instead of trying to “beat” him you use conflict resolution so that nobody loses.

   The final step is to redirect the attack to take control of uke and the conflict. You tell him that you have a cousin who does body work and you might be able to get the scratch out for free. He completely calms down and thinks of you as a friend instead of a rotten S.O.B.

   ………..Kotegaeshi.